This last year, well, actually two years, I've been fighting the apathy bug in my weight loss, in my writing, and in life in general.
I haven't been excited keeping the weight I lost off, and that my friends, translates into regaining half of the weight I worked so hard to lose.
The apathy bug is insidious. It starts slowly, gnawing its way into your psyche and slowly eroding the good things you have going for you until it has you firmly locked in its deep, dark gaping maw.
Apathy worms its way into your mind, your body and eventually sucks the life out of your soul.
I guess you could say that it's a mild form of depression, this loss of passion.
If I'm not excited about life, then why should anyone around me be excited?
And then, something happened to trigger the realization that being apathetic is kinda boring, self-defeating, and not fun.
It's funny because my trigger was my hubby deciding to join Weight Watchers online. With trying to help him figure out how to count things, portion control, meal planning, etc, I became excited about something again.
I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy. I want my blown knee to heal.
I want to live a full life again.
Weigh-in was yesterday, and though I was way over my goal weight, I was 0.2 pounds less than my previous goal weight on 11/18/14, almost six weeks ago.
Now, don't go thinking I stayed the same weight during this time, after all it was candy making season. Actually, up to three days before weigh-in, I was FIVE pounds over my previous weight.
In just those three days of hubby learning the WW program, I focused my mind back into weight-loss mode.
Yes, it's hard. Yes, I did chug some eggnog . . . but I measured it and counted it. And, trust me, writing down 10 WW PPV's for one cup of eggnog HURT. Ten PPV's is just under half of my daily allotment of 26 PPV's.
I know the road back won't be easy. I know I'll have tough days . . . but I'll also have days where I feel strong and in control. Soon the positive days will outweigh the negative ones.
With this thought in mind, I'll be beating that worm of apathy into the annals of my mind, locking it back into the deep, dark cabinet drawer where it belongs.
As this is the last day of the old year this epiphany is particularly timely-- New mentality, new year.