Picture of Love
The other day my daughter and I were talking about the difference between lust and love. I have to admit that this was a tough conversation to have with my 13-year-old daughter, but I want to be as open with her about these touchy topics as I can. I didn't go into great detail, because I didn't need to get my point across.
Lust is instant attraction, and it can turn into love, but more times than not, the flame of lust simply flickers out when one partner leaves the other behind to fight the heartache of loss as (s)he tries to figure out what went wrong.
I didn’t explain it to her in this way, but as I thought about this topic on my morning walk, I solidified an example that makes perfect sense to me.
Lust is fast-moving, quickly ignited bonfire. It encompasses both parties to in its fiery embrace. Lust without friendship, commitment, honesty and trust will soon burn low, the embers only kept alive if someone tends to it. Many times only one person is interested in keeping this fire alive, and soon even those embers turn to ash and blow away in the wind.
Lust is the “What do I get out of this relationship?”
Lust is all about ego, the self-centered id.
Love might start out as lust, burning brightly with each discovery of different aspects of the other person. The fire might not burn as brightly or as quickly, but it also isn’t consumed in the fierce flames. Love’s fire can turn dim if no one is tending the relationship, if the couple allows distrust and others to invade their space. Even if the embers have died down, there is always the small hope, the faint flicker of flame as one tends the fire of the relationship, feeding it until it burns brightly again.
The fire of love must be tended to constantly. Each partner must be responsible to help keep the fire alive. But when adversity hits, the partners must support each other to get through the hard times. When tough times hit, wouldn’t you want to be walking next to your best friend?
Love is the “What can I do to make my partner happy?”
The high divorce rate is a sad statement of the current society. So many people jump into marriage when they really aren’t mature enough to realize that the true meaning of marriage is making the other person happy.
This is where many people fail in marriage, love, and life. When the going gets tough, then bail. What they fail to realize is how much closer they can become if they provide a united front to the world. Bailing out of a relationship when hard times hit is the coward’s way out. If that is how you treat the people you love, I hate to think of how you would treat others.
So what does the picture of love look like?
How about this?
Photo taken, and used with permission, by Emory Bryant, News on 6
This gentleman made this sidecar for his wife, who is wheelchair bound, so they could enjoy riding together. That, my friends, is what love looks like.
If this isn’t the picture of what love looks like to you, then how about this:
Love isn’t fleeting. It isn’t selfish. It’s all about giving of yourself, but it can’t only go one direction. True love—and yes, I keep hearing the Bishop in The Princess Bride saying, “Twue Wuv”—must be reciprocated.I don't know about you, but the thought of aging with my sweetheart simply makes me happy.
Food for thought, my friends.