Over the last few weeks, my soul has been heavy, weighed down.
The analytical side of my brain wants to figure out why, while my creative side is simply huddled in a corner with an afghan wrapped around her, rocking back and forth.
This is known as a blue funk.
My writing has been at a standstill for weeks.
I haven't wanted to finish the Angels All Around afghan for Brenda Novak's For the Cure auction in May. Only two more angel squares before I stitch it together!
I haven't been reading, though I did download about seven more books onto my Kindle. All I've been doing are crosswords and playing Jewels Star on my phone.
Normally, it happens to me in October or November, but I think I was busy making candy, or crocheting the gazillion afghans I gave away, that I simply didn't have time for it.
It could simply be this cold weather languishing around. We did get a few warm days, but the cold and rain two nights ago successfully put a stopper in my happiness.
Fast forward a little--So I was chatting with a swim mom friend, Margaret (yes, that really is her name and she's a horse person, too!) a few days ago, asking her how her weekend was. She was so excited because her hubs and kiddo had been on a Boy Scout camping trip all weekend, and she could ride her horse.
She did more than just ride. She lived at the barn.
Wow, talk about being green with envy!
This is where our conversation changed a little. Margaret mentioned that I needed to smell manure and hay again, to inhale that special spiciness only horses have.
She mentioned she wanted me to ride the horse since she doesn't have enough time to get him into condition to sell as a hunter.
A win-win for both of us--I would be riding again, and she would be getting her horse into shape.
When I told hubs about this, his comment was that he didn't want to own another horse. Well, I don't want to own one either at this point in my life, but I did want a project to work on. And this riding would be a fun project.
Along with filling a dark, empty spot in my heart.
About a year and a half ago, I started riding a horse that was my old barn owner's pasture horse, but riding again lost its luster to ride simply for riding's sake. I didn't have a reason to keep riding a pasture horse. It served no purpose, so I stopped.
But Margaret's horse would serve a purpose. I would have a purpose in my life that is currently missing.
I think I'll take her up on it.
All I have to do is wait for the weather to cooperate, because riding in the cold and wet is not on my agenda!