9/12/12

Weighty Wednesday -- Trying to Gain Perspective

As I mentioned in last weeks, Before and After post, I hadn't realized that I had gained so much weight. That's the insidious thing about weight. You simply buy the next size up until you realize that you just bought size *** (insert head-thumping moment). For me, it was an XL, along with a slightly elevated blood pressure (technically, it was 'normal', but very ABnormal for me!), plus weighing more than I had when I was nine months preggers!

Well, the opposite is also true.

I really don't see myself any differently than I had when I was 45 pounds heavier. Oh, I know I'm a different size on the bottom, but many of my Large shirts still fit because I have very broad shoulders. In the 80's I didn't need no stinking shoulder pads, thank you very much! My body shape is about the same, there's just less of it.

So it's difficult for me to think thin. This is another battle of the mental game of weight loss.

Society hasn't helped with most people's body image, what with Twiggy, uber-skinny models, and Barbie as examples of 'real' shapes. Then there are the poor people who strive to be thin through anorexia, bulimia or self-medication (drugs, alcohol). Or some food companies brainwashing us into thinking that if we pinch more than an inch, we're too fat.

Oh, we all know babies should be fat and happy, but when does baby fat translate into fat fat?

Well, that's the kicker, isn't it?

**I'd show some pics, but most of them are packed away and haven't been scanned into the computer**

When I was young, I thought I was fat. I was on the chubby end of the stick, but then again, I was short. At that time, we played outside all day, every day. With only three TV channels to watch--and Mom forcing us to watch PBS--there wasn't a whole lot on TV. Now there are a gazillion channels to watch, numerous types of compterized gaming systems, AND computers to play with. People are more sedentary.

In the 70's, I was in Jr. High and High School. I wore boy's Levi's because most girl's jeans didn't fit me as I had chubby thighs. I sewed darts in the back waistband to keep them up. Clothes were made for the Twiggy's of the world.

I weighed 112 lbs when I graduated from high School, and I thought I was fat.

I weighed 116 lbs when I graduated from college, and I thought I was fat.

When this picture was taken (I'm in the hard hat, Jody is wearing the towel), I was in my late 20's and weighed 124 lbs, and I thought I was fat.
I had been trained to think I was fat all my life so that when I did become fat, I was simply becoming fatter.

And least we forget the normal weight range for a person of my height is 106-132 lbs. All those years that I thought I was fat, I wasn't.

Now I have the same problem, even though I'm in my healthy weight range, albeit on the high end, I don't see myself as being thin. I probably will always see myself as fat, but as long as I eat right and walk daily, then I guess I'll overcome the mental game of thinking  I'm fat.

How do you keep your weight in perspective? Is it a daily challenge?

Later, Peeps!

5 comments:

Twisted Sistser said...

I don't have a good body image of myself, even when I was much thinner. It is a daily battle for me.
You look beautiful! But, I've always thought that.

MAGolla said...

Aw, thank you, Meggie!

The media has so much to do with how so many of us view ourselves as we strive for the impossible.

The sad thing is that many editors photoshop 'perfect' models.

Jody Werner said...

Does this towel make my butt look big?

Jody Werner said...

PS - your new profile photo looks like my avatar with different colored hair.Oh, and your expression is more pleasant.

MAGolla said...

Jods--there is absolutely nothing about you that is 'big', silly girl.

Thanks, we're sisters from a different mother, 'cept you look like you drank some vinegar. ;-)