I'm Terrified

Last night when I hoofed my way six times around the almost mile loop, I had an epiphany about my current story, DRAGON.

Oh, I knew the first chapter was wrong. So I threw it away. The concept is still in the back of my mind, but I think the cliffhanger will work nicely for the end of the DRAGON or another internal chapter.

No, it's not that. It something that has been scaring me my entire life--real and written.


In real life, I back away from conflict, and I hate crying (I'm not a pretty crier!). I'm not one of those people who seem to be all about the drama. I'm middle-of-the-road boring.

And I'm happy to be there.

Well, the same is true with my writing. I think I've written two, maybe three, truly emotional scenes during my 12 years of writing. I bawled while I wrote them. They gave me a crying headache, and I didn't write for a few days.

I don't like that feeling.

Which is why deep emotion is lacking in most of my writing. I've always had this issue, just ask Marilyn Pappano!

Which leads me to my problem, the first two chapters of DRAGON are intensely emotional.

I've worked out the logistics of the chapters during my walkies, but now I need to write them. Once I get the basics down I can layer more of the emotion into the story, but I'll definitely need some feedback from my good friends, Marilyn and Meg.

On another story, I have a character who murders four people within the first few pages. The power inside of her takes over and she's the conduit for the murders, but when the power recedes she's left with the emotional aftermath of what she did. I could pull an Arnold Schwarzenegger from TRUE LIES and simply say that "they were all bad people", but that's lame and not necessarily true.

Sometimes I need the quiet me time of walking to work out my story problems, but then other times I need the help from my friends to bounce ideas off of. Writing might be solitary, but without someone to share it with--it's just not fun.

I think I'm ready to write.

Later, Peeps!


Twisted Sistser said...

Thanks, Margaret!
I'm thrilled for your epiphany! And to read your writing. You've come such a long way!
I'm not a pretty crier either.

MAGolla said...

Thanks, Meg! I'm working on it!