Swimsuit Quandry

Okay, I will start by saying that 'technically' I'm an OLD LADY. I'm fifty, but I don't feel or act fifty. After my evening walkies when I'm waiting for my daughter to finish her swim practice, a little kid or two will start inching closer to me to see what game I'm playing on my phone (either Truffula Shuffula or Bubble Blast Halloween).

Anyhoo, I don't feel my age, and I don't think I look too shabby either, but that's beside the point. The point is that there are no swimsuits that are age appropriate and actually look good.

Though I tease my hubster about wearing a bikini, I won't  . . . when we have company. In the privacy of our own pool, I will, but company or out in public? Naw, I barely did that when I was smokin' hot in my twenties, why would I do it now when everything has shifted South?

bikini (NOT me)
And that is what is available: Bikinis and old lady swimsuits, and don't get me started on what happens to tankinis when I wear them. Okay, I will say that I'm too short-waisted for them to fit right. Great concept, but for me, impractical.

Old lady suits (also NOT me)
Part of old lady suit problem is that they are all in black (with few exceptions), round leg openings (yeah, let's make short legs look even shorter!) and high backed. I don't care what color your suit is, but when you shove a fat body into spandex, you will still look fat regardless of all the "tummy toner" or "butt-lifter" material they put in it. And high backs are just uncomfortable.

So what to do?

Well, hubster suggested I look at the style of my daughter's competition swim suits.

Competitive practice suits are one piece with a moderate high leg opening and triple straps (two over the shoulders that V in the middle of the back with material connecting from the sides). See picture.

AND they come in fun colors!

Sooo . . . I tried my daughter's on **shhhuuush** Don't tell her!

Of course, it was too small, but not by too much, considering she's my height, but I outweigh her by about 15-20 pounds. But I liked the feel and look of it.

So now that I KNOW what I want it's just a matter of finding the right size and color. And if I can't find the right color, I can always order it on the Internet after I find the right size.

Later, Peeps! I'm going swimsuit shopping!


Cynthia D'Alba said...

post pics of what you bought!

M. A. Golla said...

I will when I buy one, but I do like the colors on the Uglies one at the bottom!

Jody Werner said...

I can't find any swimsuits I like on me, either. Even though I'm very slim, and suits intended for much younger people fit my body just fine, I don't feel comfortable in them. I can do tankinis and light them because they skim the body without being super-tight. One pieces are usually too long on my short torso - and the short torso cuts are waaaay too short. The "hold you in" swimsuits are down right uncomfortable.

I like little swim shorts and short fitted swim skirts as a bottom rather than typical swim bottoms. They cover a little more but are still cute and flattering.

I like the clean look of the competition style swimsuits, but I need very specific bustline construction because of my special needs status in that area. I often have to modify that area to suit (pun intended) my fit needs.

Yeah, I think finding swimwear is a bugger for a lot of women! At least for the 99% of us who are not built like supermodels.

Jody Werner said...

Um, in the above comment, the phrase "light them" should be "like them" I do not "LIGHT" my tankinis :)

M. A. Golla said...

Okay, Jody, have I got a place for you to shop online. It's called Swim Outlet. Here's the page for women's suits.

And if you go to the bottom of the list--Post Mastectomy Swimwear.

Sizing charts are at the bottom under Customer Service and are brand specific.

If nothing else, you can simply look around at all the styles available and tailor it to your needs. Many of the regular suits are on sale for @ $25, which means you can buy more than 1 or 2 for the same price that you pay at many retailers

Ashlynn Pearce ~ Romance Author said...

Me and swimsuit shopping should be outlawed! Just sayin...I finally ended up with a tankini with boy shorts. I like those. Not that I look in any of them... :P

Good luck swimsuit shopping!

M. A. Golla said...

You gotta get what is comfy, Ash!

Me, I want to show off my smokin' new bod! :-)

Twisted Sister said...

What fun--not. I'm glad I wear a wetsuit most of the time. On our boat, I don't care.

Wendy said...

I found a suit I love that looks like shorts and a tank top, so I can wear it when I'm not swimming, too. I love it. And that's saying a lot since I hate swimsuits!!

Jody Werner said...

I can wear regular swimwear since I had reconstruction after mastectomy - but the doctors made one side bigger and set lower than the other one, so finding a way to look 'balanced' is the challenge! I generally have to be able to "shore up" the smaller side with extra padding or push-up. I've made more than one swimsuit sales person quit their jobs. :)

Jody Werner said...

(PS - looked at a bunch of suits on the site - every single one I liked started at size 10. :(

M. A. Golla said...

Meg--I bet you sweat gallons just getting that darn wetsuit on!

Wendy--that suit sounds cute! It would be perfect to wear to one of those parks that have wet rides along with the dry ones!

Bummer, Jody--you might need to go to a different section to order a size 28 or 30 since you're so tiny. Some of those competitive suits squish your boobs so tight that no one would be able to tell if they were lop-sided or not.